You thought he was a great guy. He was when you committed to him. He was loving, respectful, and made you feel good about yourself.
Then, the breakdown came. Your ex became a different person with you, and you became a different person with him. Following the breakdown, a breakup came, and all ugliness broke loose - yours and his. He said words to you that no woman or mother should ever hear. You said words to him that no man or father should ever hear.
He insults, blames, and riles against you, causing you to feel bad about yourself and question your worth. You try to fix matters thinking you have to because it's your nature to be a caregiving people-pleaser.
But you don't have to fix him or take responsibility for his feelings, attitude, or reactions. In fact, now is the time to take back your power. This power is one you once gave to him but rightfully belonged to you. This is the power you need to move on and be happy, secure, and confident. So long as you allow him to make you feel responsible (i.e., hold your power), you will be in emotional twists and turns at his whim.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind whenever your ex holds you responsible for his feelings:
You can only manage your feelings. With skill and practice managing your feelings, you won't be easily upset by your ex's reactions. You can never control the feelings of another. And why would you want to anyway? Controlling your own feelings is enough work.
Be encouraged with this: you can be happy after a breakup. Happiness must be intentional and practiced. Use these tips so that you can be a happier, more self-confident, and resilient woman.